It's letterbox contact season. There's no such thing as a 'season', of course - adopters can fix their annual letterbox contact for anytime in the year. But many people I know choose the end of the academic year, so that they can easily review and write about what's been happening. I say … [Read more...] about WHAT SHOULD I WRITE IN A LETTERBOX CONTACT?
Parenting an Adopted Child
Parenting an adopted child is HARD WORK. You need fresh ideas and inspiration when the strategies employed by friends with their birth children simply don't work.
Here are some ideas, resources and general empathy/encouragement from a mama who struggles too.
We sat with nervous excitement in the spacious room, a dozen or so people sat round the table, grilling us about our hopes and dreams of adoption. And then the question came: "You're often the ones offering support to others. Will you be able to ask for support as adoptive parents, if and when … [Read more...] about ENHANCING ADOPTIVE PARENTING: HOW POST ADOPTION SUPPORT GAVE US HOPE
Parenting a child with attachment disorder is challenging work. If you're in the trenches right now, please know that you're not alone. I myself am an adoptive parent, and know what it's like to feel at your wits' end. My twins are 5 and a huge blessing to our family - but when their attachment … [Read more...] about AVOIDANT ATTACHMENT IN CHILDREN: THE WHAT, WHY AND HOW
Parenting any child who has attachment disorder is tough - as the adoptive parent of twin boys, I know this only too well. If you're up against it right now, I bring tidings of great joy: YOU ARE NOT ALONE. I find this tough, you find this tough, and thousands of others are finding it tough all … [Read more...] about THE AMBIVALENT ATTACHMENT CHILD: WHAT, WHY AND HOW?
Friend, if you've stumbled upon this site because you're tearing your hair out over your child's behaviour and attitude, and wondering if attachment difficulties might be at the heart of it all, welcome. You are not alone - I'm an adoptive mum, and battle attachment difficulties every day with my … [Read more...] about UNDERSTANDING DISORGANIZED ATTACHMENT IN YOUR CHILD: WHAT, WHY AND HOW?
Even though I've been an adoptive parent for several years, the various different types of attachment styles in children still confuse me. It's a complicated area of psychology for sure - but in case we weren't perplexed enough, it turns out that different professionals use different words for … [Read more...] about THE FOUR TYPES OF ATTACHMENT STYLES EXPLAINED
There was a particularly poignant moment of our adoption preparation training which I remember for its tear-jerking tenderness. Let me back-track a little, for those of you who haven't had the pleasure of attending adoption training. In the UK it lasts for four days, and appears to have been … [Read more...] about DO YOU HAVE TO TELL A CHILD THEY ARE ADOPTED?
When we ask ourselves what are the negative effects of adoption, I'm guessing most of us think of abuse and neglect. We know that there are homes where children's needs are not met, where parents are not able to make the changes they need to in order to provide for their children, and/or where … [Read more...] about HOW ADOPTION AFFECTS CHILD DEVELOPMENT (EVEN IF THEY’VE BEEN IN CARE FROM BIRTH)?
As an adoptive parent - and, you know, reasonably sensible, logical human being - I'm a big fan of natural consequences when it comes to behaviour management. This is simply allowing your child to reap the consequences of the action they've taken, with no/little additional input from you. You … [Read more...] about WHEN NATURAL CONSEQUENCES DON’T WORK (THREE EXAMPLES)