Parenting a child with attachment disorder is challenging work. If you're in the trenches right now, please know that you're not alone. I myself am an adoptive parent, and know what it's like to feel at your wits' end. My twins are 5 and a huge blessing to our family - but when their attachment … [Read more...] about AVOIDANT ATTACHMENT IN CHILDREN: THE WHAT, WHY AND HOW
Explaining adoption to others
It can be hard to communicate the specific needs of your adopted child to family and friends, particularly when you're not entirely sure yourself of what's going on.
I've been on this journey - and still am. Join my as I articulate some of the challenges our family faces. I hope my words will support you as you seek to explain trauma and loss to those outside your immediate family.
Parenting any child who has attachment disorder is tough - as the adoptive parent of twin boys, I know this only too well. If you're up against it right now, I bring tidings of great joy: YOU ARE NOT ALONE. I find this tough, you find this tough, and thousands of others are finding it tough all … [Read more...] about THE AMBIVALENT ATTACHMENT CHILD: WHAT, WHY AND HOW?
Friend, if you've stumbled upon this site because you're tearing your hair out over your child's behaviour and attitude, and wondering if attachment difficulties might be at the heart of it all, welcome. You are not alone - I'm an adoptive mum, and battle attachment difficulties every day with my … [Read more...] about UNDERSTANDING DISORGANIZED ATTACHMENT IN YOUR CHILD: WHAT, WHY AND HOW?
Even though I've been an adoptive parent for four years, attachment styles in children still confuse me. It's a complicated area of psychology for sure - but in case we weren't perplexed enough, it turns out that different professionals use different words for each attachment style too! As if our … [Read more...] about THE FOUR TYPES OF ATTACHMENT STYLES EXPLAINED (A NO-FUSS GUIDE BY AN ADOPTER)
There was a particularly poignant moment of our adoption preparation training which I remember for its tear-jerking tenderness. Let me back-track a little, for those of you who haven't had the pleasure of attending adoption training. In the UK it lasts for four days, and appears to have been … [Read more...] about DO YOU HAVE TO TELL A CHILD THEY ARE ADOPTED?
When we think of the reasons children are adopted, I'm guessing most of us think of abuse and neglect. We know that there are homes where children's needs are not met, where parents are not able to make the changes they need to in order to provide for their children, and/or where abusive … [Read more...] about WHY ADOPTED CHILDREN SUFFER – EVEN IF THEY’VE BEEN IN CARE SINCE BIRTH
Last year, I wrote an article for Home for Good on how our churches can support single adopters and foster carers. It was generally well-received, but one commenter asked - and I'm pleased he did - whether adoption was something we should be encouraging for the single brothers and sisters in our … [Read more...] about SHOULD SINGLE CHRISTIANS ADOPT?
As the 'at home' mum of twin 3-year-olds, I spend a lot of time in the company of other parents and toddlers. We share our trials and joys - but largely the trials. We discuss what time our children are waking up, what they refuse to eat, how many times they've sat on the naughty step today, and all … [Read more...] about 5 WAYS MY TODDLERS ARE DIFFERENT FROM YOURS
I wrote the following nearly two years ago, on the occasion of our twins' first birthday. Today, our twins turn one. I haven't yet met them, but I love them already. We need to celebrate - and yet how does one celebrate the birthday of someone they've never met? Someone who is already so firmly … [Read more...] about THE UN-BIRTHDAY: CELEBRATING THE BIRTHDAY OF THE CHILD YOU HAVEN’T MET