As an adoptive parent - and, you know, reasonably sensible, logical human being - I'm a big fan of natural consequences when it comes to behaviour management. This is simply allowing your child to reap the consequences of the action they've taken, with no/little additional input from you. You … [Read more...] about WHEN NATURAL CONSEQUENCES DON’T WORK (THREE EXAMPLES)
If you're parenting a blended family, snap! Our children arrived by birth and adoption. It's a joyous journey - but also a tough one. I hope you find encouragement and comfort in these blog posts.
Some years ago, before adoption was even really on the cards for us, and when our eldest was just one, a friend made a passing comment that she wouldn't consider adoption because she had several birth children and had read about the damaging impact of adoption on biological kids. I honestly … [Read more...] about IS ADOPTION SCREWING UP MY BIRTH KIDS? (ON MIXING BIOLOGICAL AND ADOPTED CHILDREN)
It's National Adoption Week, which seemed like a good opportunity for a rant. As you know, I tend to blog positively and (I hope) humorously about adoption, and its impact on our family. It's not all roses, of course, and I'm honest about the struggles of raising four children, two of whom have … [Read more...] about DEAR WORLD, MY ‘ADOPTED’ CHILDREN ARE ALSO MY ‘OWN’ CHILDREN. PLEASE DON’T DIFFERENTIATE.
It's one of those questions that many of us might have in our heads, but never actually verbalise. After all, it sounds rude, doesn't it? As if we're questioning someone's life choices - something we know never, ever to do in 21st-century Britain. Well, here's an answer. It's my answer, and it … [Read more...] about WHY ADOPT WHEN YOU CAN HAVE BIRTH CHILDREN?
Dear Son, The other day you asked me whether your younger brothers were your step-brothers. We'd just returned from school, and I was distracted, sorting through book bags, reading letters and signing permission slips, so I don't think I gave you a very good answer. (That's the problem with being a … [Read more...] about DEAR SON, THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF ‘BROTHER’
It should say enough about our experience of adoption that this blog post was supposed to be titled 'adoption: six months on'. Being around eight months late with everything has become a feature of the past fourteen months. There you go, enough said. We've adopted kids, and now we have no time. Job … [Read more...] about WHAT DOES ADOPTION LOOK LIKE, 14 MONTHS IN?
Sibling relationships vary so much - and that's without bringing adoption into the equation. For example, I have two brothers that I basically didn't grow up with - the large age gap meant they were away at school and university, and then moved out, while I was going through childhood. We are still … [Read more...] about ADOPTION: WHAT MAKES A SIBLING?
The time is getting closer - we are preparing to adopt! Later this month, we will meet and bring home our little boys for the first time. This season has got me thinking back to when our birth children were born, and the differences between bringing home a newborn and bringing home an adopted … [Read more...] about 7 WAYS ADOPTION IS DIFFERENT FROM BRINGING HOME A NEWBORN
Although there was a time when I thought it was. Back in my idealistic youth, before we had kids, adoption was our Plan B. "If we can't have children, we'll..." and all that. Truth be told, I was bloody scared that we wouldn't be able to have children - because then we'd have to face the messy … [Read more...] about ADOPTION IS NOT PLAN ‘B’