IS IT OK TO WANT OUR KIDS TO HAVE FINANCIAL SECURITY?

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What do we want for our kids?

I recently wrote about our children’s career choice (Am I OK with my daughter aspiring to ‘Mummy’?), and followed it up with What kind of ‘status’ do we want for our kids?

Continuing with this line of thought, I think one thing that probably many of us are happy to admit we want for our children is ‘financial security’, as they fly the nest and become independent.

But when we stop and question what our definition of ‘security’ actually is, we might find ourselves becoming unstuck.

Is anything totally secure?

For example, we may think of things like: having a job which pays the bills, being able to buy a house, paying into a decent pension scheme or having a savings account. But are these things actually ‘secure’? The financial crash of 2008 is not so far into our history that we should forget that these things can and do go wrong. Financial ‘security’ in this sense can never be 100% secure.

However, when Jesus said “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth” (Matthew 6:19), I’m not sure it was so much a comment on how insecure these treasures are, but on how secure Kingdom treasure is.

He goes on to talk about wordly treasures being destroyed by moths and rust, or stolen by thieves. Well, in this age of online banking and increasing numbers of cashless payments, the first two dangers aren’t so relevant, and the third is certainly a lot harder than it was in Biblical times – but the point here is that however secure we make our worldly treasures, however advanced our technology and alarm systems and police presence – still Kingdom treasure is way more secure.

Why? Because it lives with God, untouched by any of the threats that could endanger earthly treasure.

What are treasures in heaven?

So, if we’re not placing our security in finances, then what are we putting it in? What are “treasures in heaven” anyway?

I take this phrase to mean a variety of different things, all with the common strand of being an ‘investment’ in our relationship with God.

“Treasures in heaven” could refer to an ongoing prayer relationship, a moment of revelation through Scripture, a word or a prophecy over our lives, a deepening of our walk with God, a powerful worship experience, a fresh idea for enabling God’s blessing to be poured out in a community, the unity of a group of Christians working together for good, the delight of seeing a friend come to Christ for the first time, or draw closer to Christ, the joy of addictions being broken, debts paid off, abusive relationships come to an end, the triumph of good over evil…and I could go on.

Any investment in our relationship with God is safe forever – 100% safe, 100% secure.

Which security is the right security?

So onto our children…do we really want them to have ‘financial security’? I certainly want mine to have security, but maybe this doesn’t come from finances.

Indeed, it seems that in trying to aspire to the wrong sort of security  for our children, we may actually expose them to more danger.

As we try to protect our children from financial failure, we may be opening them up to temptations and distractions which may draw them away from Jesus.

Is that what we want for our kids? Financial security at the expense of an eternal relationship with their Father God? Or do we want them to know and enjoy a life thrown onto God the Rock, knowing His security and trusting in His provision?

How does this sustain us?

At this point, the financially prudent amongst you will be saying, “Yeah, yeah, that’s all very well – but how does faith pay the bills?”

Well, I could tell you about our friend who worked two years for our church unpaid. It was tough – but God sustained him through free accommodation and the occasional financial gift from others.

I think this friend would tell you that one of the things God was crafting in him during this time was a simpler, more sacrificial lifestyle, and a greater awareness of the value of material things, having grown up in a fairly affluent home.

I could also tell you about my friends who raise their child on one less-than-full-time salary – but still make ends meet. Their story is one of rejecting what the world tells them their child ‘needs’.

Or I could tell you about my friends who, due to great generosity throughout their adult life, entered their 70s in a rented property, unable to buy their own home for all they’d given to others. God provided them a fantastic home with low rent, guaranteed till they go to be with Jesus. Their story is that when you seek God’s kingdom first, ‘all these things will be given to you as well’.

Do you see?

When Jesus asks us to invest in heavenly treasures, He doesn’t just abandon us to it, but comes good on His promise to provide everything we need. Perhaps the reason we don’t teach this to our children is because we’re not quite sure we believe it ourselves.

Tools for parenting kids to an eternal security

I hope you know of stories like this in your own life, or the lives of your friends. If not, perhaps you need to make a few new friends!

In any case, as I raise my kids, I know I need to be very careful about what sort of ‘security’ my lifestyle promotes. Here are some ideas to avoid this:

1. Read the gospels. OK, so I’ve said this before. But there’s no better counter-attack to the values of our society than Jesus’ radical lifestyle and claims. As we get to know the Jesus who had nothing, yet wanted for nothing, and as we read about the topsy-turvy generosity of the Kingdom (a young boy giving his packed lunch for a crowd of thousands, a widow giving her last remaining coins), we can’t help but be transformed into Kingdom-investers.
2. Practise these values with your kids. Consider carefully your material purchases for them. Kingdom kids will not have everything their friends have. Model this yourself, and nurture it in your children. My kids see me wearing second-hand clothes, and know that there’s no shame in preloved!
3. Tell, and re-tell, the stories of God’s generosity in your life – to your kids as well as to yourself.
4. Hang around with others who have faith-filled stories to share. Let your kids see that Jesus is 100% secure, and totally unshakeable. He will not succumb to a financial crash!
5. Practise generosity. Kids are SO good at this – they just can’t see any reason why they wouldn’t give all their money away to kids who need it! (They don’t have to pay the bills – this probably has something to do with it!) Research charities and missions around the world. Watch the news with your kids, so they can see true suffering. If opportunities arise, take them to places where they will experience those who are suffering, first-hand. I was shaped by such trips in my teens.

Friends, we do this together.

I fall into the trap of wanting salaries, savings and pensions as much as the next person. These things are not sinful in themselves – of course they are often the main way God provides for us – but they’re not what we prioritise.

I’ll say it again, “Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well” (Matthew 6:33). We don’t need to worry – He has it all in hand.

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